The cross at Perimeter Church where Marlene met “her girls.”
MARLENE GASKILL. Where to begin? Her life was so tumultuous yet her testimony so powerful and prevailing. I realized at her memorial service held 10.25.11 that HER LESSONS OF LOVE WILL LIVE ON FOREVER.
Marlene grew up in a home that did not show or know love. She numbed the pain with drugs yet she still managed to achieve the world’s definition of success. Marlene lived the high life (figuratively and quite literally) and enjoyed Lear jets, limos, Rodeo Drive shopping trips and even frequent visits to the Playboy Mansion. It all came crashing down when her second husband died of a cocaine overdose and she ran out of money. For many years Marlene had searched for peace and a way to fill the aching void deep in her heart under all the layers of fame and fortune. It seemed now the final strands were unraveling.
One Saturday morning, in her mid-60s, Marlene hit rock bottom. She planned her escape from her hell on earth. She even had the suicide pills laid all out in a row beside the vodka. Something, or was it someone, stopped her. Marlene went out to get the mail. A post card about a music concert at Perimeter Church caught her eye. In an instant she knew where she needed to be the following morning. Long story short – she found the only solution to fill the God-shaped void in her heart. Click here to listen to audio recorded in 2002 of Marlene sharing her testimony.
Whenever Marlene and I were out together and people asked how we knew each other we would both laugh. We found the story of how God intersected our lives and hearts quite hilarious. After accepting Christ as her Savior, Marlene started a ministry to reach and love women in the adult entertainment industry. Turns out Marlene and I were both mentoring the same porn star so we were eventually introduced. My side of this story is for another day but IN OBSERVING HOW MARLENE UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED OUR MUTUAL FRIEND I WAS BLOWN AWAY. NO MANIPULATION. NO DEMANDS. JUST LOVE.
When mentoring “her girls,” Marlene would invite them to church when the time seemed right. They’d make a plan to meet at Perimeter Church. She’d tell them “meet me at the foot of the cross.” MARLENE KNEW THAT IF SHE COULD JUST LOVE THE GIRLS AND EVENTUALLY POINT THEM TO CHRIST – GOD WOULD DO THE REST.
One Sunday after church at Dunkin’ Donuts, I expressed my complete frustration with the destructive choices our mutual friend was making. I was all worked up. Marlene very calmly said to me in a soothing whisper, “Honey, she’s just not ready to trust God yet. Just keep loving her.” MARLENE TAUGHT ME THAT LOVE IS THE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION.
There are far more Marlene stories than space so I’ll share just one more. Every year we’d get a small group of women together for a Valentine’s Day lunch. At the 2009 gathering, Marlene shared her favorite love-related Scriptures and how God’s love filled the void in her heart that she’d spent an entire lifetime trying to fill. GOD’S LOVE IS THE ONLY PERFECT LOVE WITHOUT LIMITS. It’s in our quiet time with God that He can remind us of this truth and we can bask in His never-ending love.
Marlene ended our time by reading from Ephesians: her wish for us was from chapter 3:17-18 – that “Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith,” and that we, “being rooted and established in love, may have the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Marlene’s send-off challenge to us that Valentine’s Day came from chapter 5:1-2 “BE IMITATORS OF GOD, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love JUST AS CHRIST LOVED US and gave himself up for us.”
Marlene gently closed her Bible and simply said, “LOVE LIKE THAT.”
Valentines Day 2009
A very special love note and reminder.
